What's Next?

I'm in my early 40s, and it's taken until now for me to be okay with nothing being set in stone - or in my case, set in a chocolate frosty from Wendy's.

In the mid-90's, there was a Wendy's next-door to my high school. My friends and I routinely went there for the suburban delicacy of dipping our fries into a frosty. I remember during one meeting of our semi-formed teenage minds, we discussed our futures. They were adamant I would be "the next Oprah Winfrey."

And that was the moment my mind was programmed and hardwired. This is what my future must - not could - be. I had to be a journalist. Not the next Oprah, but the first Tiffany Griffith! If not, what would everyone think? I'd be a failure.

This is absolutely not to say I'm not grateful for my career. I've written, reported, anchored, and produced stories that I'm very proud of. The news I covered had a meaningful impact and people thanked me for my work. I hope to do more work like that in the future. And I've met some incredible people along the way. It's been the most fulfilling thing in my life.

The problem is, for a long time, it's been the only fulfilling thing in my life. And I never publicly let on how much I've struggled. I wrapped my identity around being a journalist and kept it moving. (Sure, lymphedema makes things tough. But I was also nearly sideswiped and ran off the road by a former co-worker after I reprimanded him. He never faced any consequences. And that's not even the worst of what I've experienced.)

So, what happens when you reach your dream job, then get laid off within two weeks of your one-year anniversary? You learn (for the 42,957th time) that you might love your calling, but it won't always love you. And nothing is set in stone. So, maybe don't try to live up to the expectations of the rest of the world (especially a bunch of high school freshmen.) Just live up to your own.

"Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses." — Stephen Colbert

What did you do while stuck indoors during the pandemic? I transitioned between multiple news jobs and finally got around to watching the must-see TV of the 2000's, including The West Wing. First of all - C.J. + Danny 4Ever! Second, I've been thinking about President Bartlet (played by Martin Sheen) and his ability to move on. No matter the crisis, he wouldn't dwell on anything. He'd just say, "What's next?" I'm fascinated by that way of thinking.

I've been working with The News Yogi. Leslie Rangel coaches journalists through their mental wellness. She told me to thank myself for the adventure my career has been, and ask myself, "What's next?" And to respond to that question with curiosity and excitement. There is an excitement and beautiful freedom to detaching myself from an identity that's only associated with the work I do. I'm not giving up on the news stories I'm covering right now, but I'm also allowing myself to pursue the other dreams I have for this one existence of mine - like traveling the world, writing several romantic comedies, and finding more love & laughter for my own life. Those thoughts, desires and goals are still a work in progress, and I hope to go after them with as much drive as I did my career.